Letter to Santa

| December 23, 2010 | 0 Comments

Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

As you know, I have been very good this year.  In fact, super-duper good!  And don’t ask me why.  You’re supposed to know everything about me, including my year-long musing of a simple thing I’ve ever desired.  The one in the Donuts Cafe near our home. Yes, the small donut store!

You know me, I don’t ask more than what I needed unlike my kids.  They ask almost anything, regardless of price and usefulness.  Just like a month ago, my teenage son had been bothering me for niftily crafted cell phone.  Day and night we talked nothing but the whole gamut of cell phone’s pros and cons.  Though mostly were pros except for one—the payment part.  I told him not a chance, hundred times, and I remained steadfast and stood my ground.  But at the end, tired of answering his equally hundred “whys”, I relented.  Of course, not without a stern look along with a strong caveat—Do not text a lot and blah blah blah. Okayyy???

Sadly, it didn’t work.  His first couple days generated almost 1000 text messages.  Just imagine, multiply that to the nth power.  It’s zillionzzzz per lifetime.  Thanks to telephone company’s email fraud alert, I saved myself from  money heart attack.  When the customer service asked me if I wanted to change from 200 text plan to unlimited, I didn’t just say yes.  I yelled, “What The F_ _ _! Absolutely, And Do It Now!!!”  (Sorry Santa, pardon my French.)

You know Santa, before I agreed to buy a cell phone, I told my son to wait for Christmas day and Santa will give you one.  Nope!  He didn’t listen to me.  Instead, he uttered the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard, “I don’t believe in Santa!  He is not real.”

Again, sorry Santa.  Please accept my apology.  You know teenagers, they think they know everything.  They fear nothing and they do bunch of daring stuff, as if they are invincible.  My son is no different.  He plays skateboard almost everywhere— in our garage, streets, walkways, planter boxes and concrete fences.  But I have yet to see him on our 5 feet steel fence and gate.  Perhaps, soon.

Worry not, Santa.  My second boy is still embracing the idea of a mysterious red-clad and fat old man flying with reindeers.  He has been reminiscing some of the previous Christmas day moments.  I guess you spoiled him with expensive toys.  Do you remember your gifts from yesteryears— the Wii, Play Station, X-box, Game Cube, etc.  He loves those stuff.  That’s why he is still expecting this time, but not quite.  He is actually right at the threshold of twilight zone.  This is all because we have no chimney, yet you managed to get in.  I think next year he would be joining his big brother mocking your fairy magical power.  Please accept my advance apology.

Wait… I have one more boy, the youngest.  This one, a Kindergarten, is for sure 100% Santa believer.  There is one problem though.  This boy knows too much of computer and other hi-tech toys.  Don’t you even think of Facebook.  Of course, he has one!  He can read and write, too.  I overheard him telling his brothers what he wrote you this Christmas.  No biggie—-Only X-box 460!

Okay, so far you have two believers, my youngest son and me.  My wife?  Nah, impossible.  She is way too smart for this non-sense!  Just leave her alone.  Better yet, start pondering my innermost desire for this Christmas.  You know, the one in the small donut store.

Santa, I am a simple man with simple desire.  I want a simple living for the rest of my life.  I think the one in that small store would suffice my longing for simplicity.  I see it every morning after I drop off my kids to school.

The last time I saw it, it read:  Mega Lottery – $ 168 M

I think “$ and M” — means,  Simple Mind…



Category: HUMOR

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